About Wendy Dillard, B. Msc.
To know me is to understand my insatiable desire to decode how our thinking affects the quality of life’s experiences. Stemming from feeling a powerful believe that we could have it all, I’ve discovered that “living happily ever after” is not just for fairy tales; but happily ever after is our birthright.
The Birth of Wendy’s Coaching
I was on a quest to learn how to effectively make changes? And whether I used traditional therapies or tried to do it myself, I was often advised to use Will Power. However, Will Power never lasted for the long term. I began to recognize that the actual root cause of the unwanted behavior was not being identified. And unless I addressed the underlying issue, the negative behaviors simply found a new (sometimes even more problematic) avenue to be expressed. The truth is that the behaviors are not the cause of the trouble, although, that’s where we typically look to solve the it.
With every personal development course or workshop I took, each program promised the same thing… the benefits would be the nirvana I’d been searching for… these particular processes would finally be what would make me happy, rich, successful, etc. But, when one course didn’t resolve ALL of my life’s woes, I took another workshop, hoping that would be the one. And when that didn’t do it for me, I was in search of yet another course… and so on and so on…
I was always so impressed by the new information I experienced in each workshop. Each course definitely had something powerful to teach me. So, after learning each set of new skills (and armed with my new excitement for the these processes), I would try them on myself or friends just like I’d been taught by the instructor. But simultaneously, I sensed an uneasy feeling (as I was denying my inner voice that was telling me to deviate from the technique slightly by adding a twist that I’d learned from a different course). Being the “perfect student”, I didn’t want to stray from the process as it had been taught to me because I believed that the power of the technique was in following the instructor’s process precisely.
Even though, my clients experienced powerful results during sessions, I began to be discontented… and then confused… followed by a loss in my desire to coach. As a matter a fact, I found myself saying, “I hate coaching and don’t ever want to do it again.” And with that, I knew something was seriously wrong because helping affect change has always been my passion and my greatest joy!
I knew that I had perfected the techniques exactly like I’d been taught, but I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable using the techniques as is. So, what was “off” I wondered… Looking back, I had many clues along the way, but I was not paying attention to that quiet, subtle inner voice that was always there.
Ironically, an idea I shared with clients often was that “The world only needs one Suzie. And if you’re busy trying to be just like Suzie, then ONE of you is unnecessary. And the bigger question is, then who would be being YOU? The truth is that when you’re BEING YOU, the YOU you were created to be, then you’ll find your joy!” (This was a concept I understood on a logical level as it made so much sense to me that it was important to be your authentic self, but I wasn’t truly integrating it into my life for my own use, yet.)
It may have taken my a long time to finally “get it.” But, I finally did “get it” – which was that I wasn’t meant to replicate the other instructors / teachers / or mentors that had taught the personal development courses. What was necessary, was that I needed to be ME! I needed to follow my own personal style. Which for me, is to follow my intuitive voice (or knowing) that always guides me to select the appropriate techniques, and/or combine several techniques together creating something even more incredible. As I began to throw off the internal constraints I’d placed on myself about trying so hard to be like someone that I was not, I began to get excited. I began to observe new strategies coming into my awareness… ones that were unique, and yet had traces of other techniques that I’d learned in the past, and yet completely different at the same time. I knew I was on to something. The more I followed intuitive wisdom, the deeper my client’s breakthroughs were & the quicker the breakthroughs came.
The key to personal transformation was right there all along (just like Dorothy had the power to return home all the time): All I needed to do was something I already knew how to do and that was to listen to my quiet/subtle inner voice! And as I followed my inner voice, I began to recognize the synergy of all the skills I’d learned. But, now they were being used in a new personalized “Wendy” way.
The magic sauce was in NOT following any of the processes exactly as I’d learned them, but to allow infinite intelligence to provide the exact recipe that perfectly meets my client’s needs. We’re all so unique that not any one technique is the ultimate tool to fix everyone. Therefore, every session is unique and is tailored for YOU!