I just recently got over having pneumonia. And if you’ve ever had pneumonia, you’d know it pretty well puts your life into a complete shut down. Breathing is labored. Making one trip up or down the stairs requires a 30 minute nap. Once the coughing starts it becomes its own episode. So, don’t talk because any talking only starts up another coughing fit. Focusing on anything for longer than 2 seconds is impossible, so forget concentrating on anything. Body weakness to the point it’s a major ordeal to move your arm to reach for the glass of water that’s only 2 feet away from you. It’s bad!!!
When I heard the word pneumonia, I started to think something BIG is trying to get my attention because at this point, I’d had Bronchitis four times in the last 6 months, and it was this latest Bronchitis incident that developed into pneumonia. So, in less than 6 months, I’d been down for the count FOUR times, and not just with the sniffles… these were big illnesses. Each time I was sick, I had to be off from work. Each time I was sick, I was flat on my back. Each time I was sick, my life came to a complete HALT. But, it was not until the doctor threatened that if this last round of anti-biotics didn’t clear up the infection in my lungs, she’d have to put me in the hospital, was FINALLY big enough for me to receive the Universe’s WAKE UP CALL.
As I was beginning to recover, I’d have moments of clarity – so I could use my mind for about 3 minutes at a time. So, I’d do my best to utilize those 3 minute intervals deliberately and started to wonder “what on earth, did I do to manifest pneumonia”. After all, I’m an extremely healthy woman. I don’t generally get sick. I’m not one of those people that get the annual “spring cold” or get “whatever’s going around”. I’m generally immune to all that stuff. “Pneumonia”, I pondered to myself… I had pneumonia when I was 9 yrs old. And at that time, I was hospitalized. So, I started to wonder if there was a connection between pneumonia at 9 and then again at 49. I put that on the shelf should that become important later.
Years ago, Louise Hay wrote a book called: You Can Heal Your Life, and I have a worn-out copy of it on my bookshelf for which I refer to one particular section of the book quite often – although I have to say, it’s been a least a year since I used it. She healed herself from an advanced cancer by deliberately changing her thoughts and declining the usual medical protocols. In the book she lists a bunch of physical ailments and their associated emotional root causes, and a coordinating affirmation to use to begin the process of changing the vibration of the negative physical condition. Perhaps, in another blog, I’ll go deeper into this subject, but for now, I’ll just say that I have lived my life by the understanding that all physical ailments are connected to unresolved emotional issues.
And while asking “what’s going on that I have created this pneumonia”, I felt drawn to this book. I started by looking up the emotional cause of pneumonia, but what was listed did not “click” for me. I couldn’t relate to feeling those emotions anytime lately… maybe years ago, but not now. So, I then, looked up associated illnesses: respiratory problems, bronchitis, etc. And still I didn’t really relate to the emotional causes, although I sort of sensed there were similarities between the root causes.
Next, I got the impulse to go to my computer with the book, and look up EVERY physical condition I have had recently or currently have, including being overweight, excessive appetite, allergies, post-nasal drip, etc. I typed every “condition” I felt was appropriate and it’s associated emotional root cause. This turned out to be a longer list than I had expected. It’s amazing how many “conditions” we put up with and don’t give much attention to it because it’s “only a small annoyance”. Anyway, once the list was complete, I read it from top to bottom. But, the list of root causes was so extensive, I felt I should ask my inner being which root causes were appropriate for me to focus on. And with that, I saw a distinctive pattern emerge that somehow related most of these conditions.
Here are the issues that stood out for me: Anger. Hidden anger. Lots of frustration and anger. Inner crying. Emotional overflow. Years of controlling the emotions. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection. Not feeling good enough. Judging the emotions. Denying your own power. Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling. Parents arguing.
What I sensed my inner being was highlighting from the list were a lot of repressed anger or unexpressed emotional issues. And I sensed that the family references may have been indicating that these denied emotions were anchored in my childhood. But I honestly couldn’t think of any anger issues that I hadn’t already processed. I truly felt I had worked through the anger regarding my Mom and family judging me so harshly regarding weight issues years ago as well as other childhood issues. So, I couldn’t relate to what this was specifically pointing to, but I knew the answers would open up for me. So, I set the list aside.
For the next couple of days, I’d look over the list and pondered the connection between all of these ailments. And the idea began to form that perhaps the Universe had been trying to get my attention for a long time… years in fact, but I didn’t know how to read the signs. Therefore, the Universe provided more “physical symptoms” with the expectation that I would “get it”, even though I didn’t. The physical conditions went from slightly annoying to frustrating, and then eventually, to soooo BIG, even I couldn’t deny that SOMETHING was going on WITH AN AGENDA and was trying to get my attention.
Hello Universe, what are you trying to communicate?