Do you do things to NOT hurt someone’s feelings?
Last week, someone reached out to me on a DM (Direct Message on LinkedIn). I could feel her delightful energy… so I felt drawn to engage with her. She suggested I schedule a call to discuss an opportunity. Just the mere fact that we were engaged left me with a happy feeling.
We had the call, and she talked about a new platform where I could host a webinar and talk about the Law of Attraction, and the best part was that her company would do the marketing, and it would cost me zero… and they are in a testing phase of this new platform.
It felt like a no-brainer, and I told her I was “in.”
So, all she needed from me was a few sentences of text to describe what I’d be talking about on the webinar.
I wrote up with the supporting ideas, but I didn’t FEEL that internal sense that I was ready to send it to her.
Now, for reasons I didn’t understand, I had an uneasy feeling about moving forward. I was now struck with a dilemma. I no longer wanted to host this webinar. But, I didn’t want to back out because she was counting on me and I didn’t want to let her down.
She had DM’d me again regarding the logistics for the webinar, so I felt obliged to respond even though I didn’t know what I was going to say.
I did what I always do when wrestling with a dilemma: I leaned into my FEELINGs. I felt hesitant about hosting the webinar. I felt I didn’t want to disappoint her. I felt uncertain how I could get out of this gracefully and without burning a bridge with her.
I began typing my response, and the more I typed, the more I was feeling congruent with the idea of putting this project on hold. This felt good… I was, in a sense, saying I had changed my mind without directly saying I was breaking my word.
The more I leaned into my feelings, the more insight flowed to me.
Next, I told her how I hated to disappoint, but I’d like to put this webinar idea on hold. Yet, I would remain open to the idea should I get an intuitive nudge to move forward.
Then, I recalled how I felt when first receiving her DM. And so I said: “I wonder if the fact that I had such a strong desire to talk with you was more about connecting with you and not so much about doing the webinar (and maybe I misinterpreted the feeling)?”
This sentence felt really good to me, so I knew I was on the right trail.
I liked the idea that I could have misinterpreted my original feelings and prematurely said “yes” to the webinar when it was possible that I was really just wanting to the opportunity to connect with a warm and friendly woman.
I was feeling great now as it seemed this message was writing itself. I again remembered my feelings when I first received her DM and I remember thinking… she’s wanting to pitch an idea, but I just want to connect with her because I liked her energy. The significance of this was that I didn’t really have the intention to entertain what she was offering. But, when we conversed, my liking of her was overwhelmed by an offer that seemed to be such a no-brainer.
I realized that all the guidance I needed to know was present in my feelings, but I lost sight of those original feelings until I was put in the position of hurting her feelings. I had the guidance all along, but my people-pleasing tendencies reared it’s ulgy head and overshadowed my initial feelings. And with this understanding, I felt this dilemma had come to a conclusion.
Now, regardless of how she responds, I feel clean with my communication. The need to people-please in this situation has dissipated and I feel that I’m in integrity with myself and my new friend.
Having the sensitivity to notice feelings and discern what they’re saying is how guidance is received. This is one of the most valuable skills necessary to getting in alignment with Source energy.
Unless you know how to interpret ALL the feelings involved in a situation, it can be easy to be misled or uneasy, leading to living with uncertainty.
If you want assistance in learning the ins and outs of your feelings… reach out to me.